What Not To Say

Standard

What not to say to someone with a disabling chronic illness

1.)  It must be nice to not have to work

Actually we would like to be healthy and being able to participate in society, do you know how boring it is to not be able to live a normal life?

2.) I wish I had the time for a nap

I bet you never have experienced the type pf nap that is not refreshing, the type where you wake up feeling even worse than before…

3.) You are just getting older

That is an extremely stupid thing to say, getting older does not mean being so ill that you can no longer function properly. Some people even say this to people in their 30s or 40s, which is ridiculous!

4.) But you don’t look sick

Thank you, it took a lot of work to look like this.

5.) You need to tough it out

Let me kick you and tell you to tough it out (just thinking this, not actually doing it of course, I am way too weak to kick that hard haha)

6.) It must be in your head

Oh really? How do you know? I happen to have a genetically inherited illness, not sure how that can just be in my head

7.)  Snap out of it

You snap out of your nastiness!

8.) You just need to be positive

This is a annoying one! I had a friend actually tell me that I could ‘cure my genes with my positivity’, she was sure of it.

9.)  Everybody gets tired

Yes they do, but most people sleep and they are refreshed again, that does not work like that for us

10.) You are just having a bad day

Probably well meant, when people do not know what to say. Sadly it might actually be one of my good days

11.) There are people who have it worse than you

There are, but it is no use looking at who has it worse or less bad, it does not change anything

12.) You just need to get out more 

I wish, I would love to!

13.) You are just depressed

There is no such thing as ‘just depressed’, depression is a real illness. Many people with chronic illness or disabilities get depressed due to the situation they are in. It is a serious issue and can not be taken lightly.

14.) It can not be that bad

Yes it can!

15.) You need more exercise  

Don’t you think we already try that? Trying and failing all the time. But not giving up!

16.) This too shall pass

Answer:

no

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